I'm sorry your life turned out so hard, Eugene.

Today was one of those magical days at the dentist office. I'm positive my appointment was at 9:20am but it somehow got changed to 8:30am. No matter, I was there at 8:45AM so that was right in between being a little early and a little late. I went on back to the scary room as soon as I got there. "Would you like the nitrous?" Well, hell yeah. Although I do remember getting that when I was a kid and peeing myself in the dentist chair so I was a little paranoid about that. She put it on me and 5 minutes later I didn't care if I laid there and died. She handed me the controller to the TV and told me to enjoy while they finish getting things set up. I saw that Starz was listed on the line up of channels. I went through every movie looking for ANYTHING that may have a boob in it. Not because I wanted to look at boobs, but that's such a nice place, I thought that maybe they all needed to see one. I found some, clicked the channel and it wasn't available. Neither was G4TV. So I watched the Brady Bunch. The dentist started working on my mouth after I was numb and it wasn't bad at all. I was having 2 teeth done; root canal on one, and filling replacement/crowning on another. I was scheduled to be there for 5 hours so they were going to give me little breaks every now and then. And boy did I need them. I had a total of 3 pee breaks. Two of the times I went to the bathroom were right after someone else went in there to poo. I didn't care. It was when I got back from my second break that I made an amazing discovery! Well, two discoveries! One was that the chair had a back massager and the other was music channels on TV. So I found a nice techno station. Nitrous+massager+techno=party in my mouth. It was nice.. Until it happened.. You know, flatulence. Then it was like la dee daa, feels nice, wow what was that, then OMG *squeeze*. Talk about ruining a good time. No, I never actually did it, but I got real damn close. After all was done, I was sad to have to leave my nitrous bottle behind but glad to get out of there. And now that the numbness has about worn off, I'm really sore. Oh and on top of that, I wasn't able to get the root canal completely finished because my root was bent in some strange way. (If I was a man, that would be funnier.) So anyway, I have to make an appointment for an endodontist(sp) for next week to get it finished out. Oh fucking joy. I called them to make an appointment and get it over with and their bitchy answering service told me to call back Monday. I can barely drive down the driveway and now they want me to drive to Monroe? Sheesh. And that's all I can think of right now.