I'm sorry your life turned out so hard, Eugene.

I never knew just how interesting it could be to have a few caterpillars in a small fish tank until Kara decided they could not possibly live outside. I think we started out with 3 but it soon got populated with 8! I've been feeding them small branches from our wild cherry tree. They love them! There were a few days when I thought they were going to die. They would just be dangling off a branch looking all limp & pathetic.Then they'd wake up to eat, drink then go dangle some more. I think we've had them for about a week now. They were tiny when we first found them. Now some are longer than my finger. That's not saying much though... Last night I got out a bigger fish tank for our growing family. This morning, they were building cocoons. There are two full cocoons now and another in the making. I find myself wondering if they're making their little wormy houses because they are comfortable and well-fed in their man-made environment or if they're making them out of sheer desperation to find any way to remove themselves from this Hell I have created for them.

I was like wtf? It's only 11am and I'm being woke up because someone needs a box? I rarely get to sleep late and I was enjoying it while I was able. I slowly dragged out of bed and staggered outside. Right there on the deck was two little baby possums. Like smaller than my hand possums. First thing I asked was "Where's the mamma?" I then heard a sad story about Casey and Kara riding the 4-wheeler behind the pond and Isaac the dog finding something, slinging it around and finally killing it. It was the Mamma. No, it wasn't "playing" dead. It was dead as a door knob. Casey saw the babies trying to climb trees when they finally got to where Isaac was slinging the Mamma around at. He couldn't leave them, so he brought them home. We waited an hour and went back to the dead mamma to see if any more babies had come back. They didn't. We also went back to check one more time this evening and still didn't see any other babies around. In between checking for babies, I looked on the interwebz for anything about orphan possum babies. I found lots of stuff but even though it's on the internet, it's not always true... or is it? Anyway, I read for about an hour then finally decided to call the local animal clinic to ask what I should do. It was simple. Keep them warm, feed them kitten formula and eventually introduce canned kitty food. I knew they liked cat food because there's a couple of possums that come eat with the cats sometimes. Also they told me to take them outside and teach them how to climb trees. Can you see my fatass out there climbing a tree and hollering for tiny possums to follow? Nahhh.. I know what they meant and it doesn't involve me doing any climbing at all. When they start weighing about 3 pounds, they should be fine to bring back to the woods and be able to take care of themselves. They like the kitty formula and have a few drinks from a medicine dropper every 2-3 hours. They have both been named 'Baby Possum'.

The little possums are growing and doing well. They've been having formula about every 2 hours and they're starting to put on the ounces. This morning, they finally started eating canned cat food. They still hiss at me when I reach in to grab them. It doesn't bother me though, I'm pretty used to it. My own kid growls and hisses at me when I try to pick her up.

I was going to start talking about fishing and the big one I caught today but the more I thought about it, the more I don't want to. and there was something else I was going to talk about but that slips me.

My refrigerator went out today and what should have been a quick trip to the town to get a new one ended up taking a little over 5 hours. FIVE hours and trips to FIVE different stores to find a decent icebox with a price UNDER $1000. Maybe it wouldn't have taken that long if I had just settled for the low price of $2,200 but, in my opinion, is way too much for something that doesn't come with speakers and a controller. I do have just a few tips that may help improve the sales of appliances..

1) Do NOT put sale tags on everything hours before the store closes then tell your customers they have to come back the next day (after 1pm) to get them at the sale price.

2) Don't be a stalker! Let the people look around. If they're going to buy it, they will! If you start creeping them out, they are going to run far, far away from your store.

3) Have them in stock! I know fridges are big,bulky items and I'm sure they take up a lot of storage room but if someone comes in to buy a refrigerator, it's probably because they need it now and not in 'a few business days'. Poor people don't come in to buy a refrigerator just because they have a feeling theirs might bite the dust within the new few business days.

4) Know what you do have in stock! Please keep in mind that the 20 minutes you spend fucking a co-worker in the storeroom,the poor people out there waiting have a broken refrigerator full of pickles that are spoiling as you fuck.

5) Put the right tags on the right items! Those fantastic price tags you put on the stainless appliances should be for the stainless appliance and not for that same appliance in white. The stainless appliances need their stainless price tags. Sure, you can put the prices of that appliance in other colors in small print under the main price but don't put the low white appliance price on a stainless item making the it look very cheap when you will be adding an extra $70-$90 to the stainless ticket.

After reading these tips, you should be able to sell a refrigerator like a real chain store worker! Now get out there and be somebody!

On a happier note, we did end up getting a nice Maytag fridge from Lowe's. The salesman there was very nice, not stalky and knew what he was doing. Maybe I'll put up pictures of it tomorrow. I was able to capture the magic of the first few ice cubes it produced. Here's to 3 wonderful years with my new icebox! Yes, 3 years. We have had few things that have lasted longer than that.

Caterpillars hatch into raccoons. (I giggled.)

Barbie doesn't have a vagina, only a butt. (This one is sorta true though.)

Cats have babies through the hair on their backs. (No idea where that idea came from.)

A back can be killed then you wiggle around on the ground. (Kinda true.)

Cookie Monster's eyes were eaten off by dogs. (Yep.)

Cages are fun. (For who?)

You can hug a worm until it dies. (Then you put the remains in a 'snake hole'.)

I'll have to think of some more stuff later. These are just things she told me today. Who knows wtf tomorrow holds.

blah

Well it wasn't really cheap, but I think it will do the job.

Ok, not really. It's a new place for the possums to hang out. They've been sleeping in a 30 gallon fish tank but that's way too heavy for my aching back to be picking up on everyday. I haven't gotten it fixed up all the way yet but I'll be working on that when the sun goes away a little. I'm still scared of sunlight. They're growing so fast. I just started them on hard kitten food and ferret berry-things. They go nuts if you put chopped grapes or bananas in their food bowl. For some reason, they've started pooping in the water dish so I put a water bottle in there for their drink and an old bowl in there for the poo.

And yes, I've been messing with my layouts a bit too much these past few days. If you come back one day and can't see a damn thing on here, then it means I messed up Eugene's life again. I'll fix it when I get a chance. Maybe after the dishes. Why won't someone just come clean my house for me? It's ALL I ever do and I want a fucking break. I get no off day. The things I don't get done will get more recognition than the things that I actually accomplish in a day. Hey someone put the curtains back up that got jerked off the wall earlier. wow.

I've never been able to walk out of a store without spending $100 bucks. At Walmart today, I got a bag of cat food, a bag of dog food, a toy on clearance for 9 bucks, a boat battery and 2 things of oil, a birthday card and a bag of Rasinettes. $144.00. Did you know a small boat battery holds a price of $78? Plus a core charge of $9? I didn't until recently. Casey had a gift card that helped out little. After that, we had to go to Lowe's for some air conditioner duct work. 25ft of thin, shiny, insulated tubes was about $65. I love that store. While we were there I picked up a nice size rug to go on my living room floor. This rug matches NOTHING I have. It's pink with little roads and houses on it. Really cute. There's a bakery store on there that looks like a big cake with a cherry on top. Kara said it was "Cupcake Mountain". I love her imagination. The rug was only 20 bucks and if it helps protect the carpet underneath, then it will be well spent. We added a roll of duct tape to our cart. At the check out, I wrote a check for UNDER $100. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't much under 100, like 96 or something. It was time to go home. On the road behind the Ruston Walmart. they have all kinds of new shops open. One was a pet store. We had to stop. They had the cutest little English Bulldog pup in there. His price was $2,110. Guess what I got! Nothing! Not a thing. I managed to walk out of a store without spending a penny. I'm still amazed at the price of dogs in there. The Yorkie was over grand and now that I think of it, none of the dogs there were under 500. They even had kittens that looked just like mine for $25. Kitten, anyone? And I won't charge you a thing. But they come in pairs. We made it home finally. It was late and we were hungry. I sent Casey back to town for Chinese. It about $15 for 2 take outs. After we were full and bloated, we crawled under the house to put the tube on. It was good fun. I feel a lot poorer today. I need a j0b.

 

Just seeing what this map thingy looked like.

Kara was playing with a Hotwheels tank. I think today was the first day they she ever really wondered what it was. When she asked, I told her it was a tank. "A what?" I tell her again "A tank. An Army tank." and then she asked, "Can I put my arms in it?" 

Everyone loves a good scary story every now and again but when they come out of the mouth of a 2 year old kid, you start to worry. Last night while we were all laying in the bed playing, Kara bursts into story. It was about Bb-eye. That's what it sounded like. It could have been Beady-eye, B.B. Eye, Bitty-eye or anything else that sounded like BB. But ol Bb-eye is white with big brown eyes. He lives in the woods up in a tree and he's bigger than Isaac. (Isaac is a 1/2 lab 1/2 German Shepherd so he's pretty darn big.) Bb-eye likes to kill. He kills baby possums. "kill kill KILL KILL." Why she added that 'KILL KILL' at the end of it beats the hell out of me. Bb-eye also comes in the house and puts dirt on the floor. At this point in her story, I'm imagining this HUGE scary, slobbering thing that looks like the guy dressed up as a monster in The Village. and wondering what I'd do if I woke up the next morning and stepped in big pile of dirt beside my bed. Oh dear me. I was going to put up a link to a picture of The Village guy and my google image search showed me a link to a gaypornvillage. Anyway. At the end of the story, me, Mom and Kara get thrown into the woods by Bb-eye and "we never come back no more". Where do we go after we get thrown into the woods? "nowhere". What do we do? "nothing". It was very creepy the way she told this story. I feel like I can never go outside again without getting 12 inch claws jabbed into my spine then tossed lifelessly into the woods. Speaking of my spine, I'll be going to the doctor in the AM to try to get something else for my back. The drugs I'm on now aren't working anymore. The drugs don't work they just make you worse but I know I'll see your face again. Yep, that's a Verve song.

 Oh, this morning I asked Kara if she made up Ol Bb-eye in her head. She showed me the top of her head and said "No. There's nothing up there. See!"

And apparently my life will continue to suck until my dying day. I won't get better. There'll be bad days and horrible days that will make the bad days look like good days. Stay on the drugs and good luck. Yep, that's about all that was said.